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Yet the scenario she describes is a relatively new one in human history, claims Eva Illouz, author of the new book “Why Love Hurts.” Illouz points out that in 19th-century England it was usually the men who chased the object of their affection while women held the power to decide if and when to marry. 1 on men’s wish lists, and men wanted to marry just as much as women did (and at an earlier age). Suffering for love may be part of the human condition, but is there something different about romance today that causes a new and distinct kind of pain?