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You’ve read her profile, Googled that author she mentioned four times, and managed to tactfully point out your similarities without sounding desperate. According to Christian Rudder, co-founder of Ok Cupid, users on his site exchange about 4 million messages – a day. In his book, ‘Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking’, Rudder weighs in on whether a canned message actually works, or if women see through that BS in an instant.