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Thus began a love affair with love affairs – and I wanted to be armed and dangerous for when I finally stopped reading about it and started living it (which, much to my frustration, didn’t really happen until I was 15/16 – damn private girls’ school education). It was a counterattack on The Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, which was the 50 Shades of Grey of 1995 – an unexpected and controversial phenomenon, minus the sex – and encouraged women to go back to 1950s-style dating in order to land a husband. She explains why love, although an essential ingredient, is not enough to sustain a relationship long-term.